My Story
Hi, my name is Nicola Reeve and I'm 51 years old. I am a devoted dog lover, nature walking enthusiast, and I find joy in arts and crafts, especially painting angels. I also enjoyed a highly successful and fulfilling career in marketing for thirty years, performing at the highest level for global companies.
From an early age, I sensed that I was different from those around me, often struggling to connect with others. Whilst I always had many acquaintances, forming deep friendships has always been a challenge. In my efforts to fit in, I often tried to act in ways that I believed would make me seem 'normal'. However, I have grappled with mental health challenges since my teenage years, so once I stopped 'acting', and those around me, saw I was different, I would move on and restart the process with a new set of friends.
In April 2020, I experienced a deeply traumatic and severe psychotic episode, it was terrifying, marking the beginning of a difficult journey. This led to my being sectioned under the Mental Health Act, where I received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. The psychotic episode was caused by the manic high of bipolar and raised serotonin levels. Finally I had a diagnosis that could help me understand myself better, but the road ahead was full of unexpected challenges.
Over the past five years, I have navigated a range of experiences, from manic highs to profound suicidal lows, severe psychotic episodes, convulsions, and brain seizures. My last psychotic episode was particularly severe, and resulted in ten-weeks hospitalisation under the Mental Health Act. During this time, I made the heart-wrenching decision to end my marketing career so I could prioritise my mental health and well-being, setting me on a path toward recovery.
I have spent countless hours exploring the mental health landscape, researching available options, treatments, recovery and crisis centers, and anything that might assist me. I am a MIND mental health campaigner, a volunteer for Action For Happiness and an Expert by Experience for BSMHT (Birmingham & Solihull Mental Health Trust), I attend Uffculme recovery college weekly, go to my local Place of Welcome at Rowheath Pavilion every Friday and walk in nature daily. Anything, that can help, I commit whole-heartedly too. It can often feel overwhelming, isolating and inconsistent, with many obstacles along the way. Yet, with the support of my family and expert guidance, I have come to realise that recovery is possible. I have learned to live with my diagnosis rather than let it define me.
Through my blog, I aim to share my journey, the high points and the low points, what my illnesses mean to me, the wonderful like-minded people I have met along the way, the friendships I have made and the steps I've taken toward recovery. I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can offer comfort and understanding to anyone struggling with mental illness. I speak from the heart, knowing all too well the depths of despair when it feels like there is no way out. I have learned that 'there is always another way'; sometimes, we just need a little support to help us find it. It has been a challenging journey, but I believe that by sharing my story, I can help others who are on their own paths to healing. I dedicate 'Hope Beyond Shadows' to my sister Tina & my niece Leah, for their unwavering patience, love & strength.
With Love & Light
Nicola xxx
